No Vacations, No Holidays
by Vecturist
Summary: You’d think Sheppard and McKay visiting the botany lab wouldn’t require attention from Carson and the rest of the infirmary. Guess again. One shot


Title: No Vacations, No Holidays

Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis and its characters are not mine. If I'd won the Powerball lottery a few weeks ago, then maybe things would be different. Dr. Kyte Randall and Dr. Fitzgerald are mine, however. I write purely for entertainment and maybe to vent. I'm a grad student so I have no money, anyhow.

Rating: T for swearing, nakedness and a little angst

Pairings: McKay/Brown, Beckett/OC

Summary: You'd think Sheppard and McKay visiting the botany lab wouldn't require attention from Carson and the rest of the infirmary. Guess again.

A/N: This is a one-shot unless I get other ideas. Kyte is my character from "Strange Inheritance" and "Value of an Inheritance," but this is a stand-alone from those stories. The idea for this story came from a bunch of university lab safety seminars I had to attend a few weeks ago as a grad student and teaching assistant. At least I got a story idea out of it.

"Hey Rodney, aren't the physics labs down that corridor?" asked Colonel Sheppard catching up with the Canadian astrophysicist.

"Yes. Well. I thought I'd say hello to Dr. Brown, while she's at work," started Dr. McKay. Sheppard gave him a skeptical look. "Kate and Dr. Randall have been trying to grow some plants hydroponically, and they should be just about ready for harvest. I was hoping for some samples, you know, like at the grocery store," finished the scientist.

"So, there's food involved? Well, I have to say; I'm impressed that you're in search of something besides energy bars. I'll join you, I'd love to try something before some of the kitchen staff gets a hold of the crop."

"That's what he said to me," started Dr. Brown to the woman at the lab bench next to her.

"Really?" laughed Dr. Kyte Randall. "That's priceless, I mean really, who….Oh hi, Dr. McKay, Colonel Sheppard." Both women immediately became serious.

"I hope we weren't interrupting anything, ladies," apologized Dr. McKay, with mock politeness. He had a sneaking suspicion that he'd been the topic of conversation.

"No," blushed Kate.

"Nothing, you'd be interested in," added Kyte. There was a long silence.

"So no hydroponics today?" asked Rodney, remembering his original mission as his stomach growled slightly.

"Sorry. They're not quite ready. Dr. Fitzgerald," Kyte gestured to a white coated scientist at the other end of the room, " asked us to help with transferring out these plant tissue cultures," pointing to the large collection of petri dishes spread out on tabletops, some containing what appeared to be green slime.

Catching the looks on the two men's faces, Dr. Brown added, "Don't worry, in two weeks, they'll actually look like plants. A few weeks later, they'll be shipped over to the mainland for planting. The Athosians will be very appreciative, these plants should be more disease-resistant."

"Bottom-line, more crops, which means less dependence on shipments from Earth or from trading," added Kyte.

"Don't mind doing this, but I forgot how sore I get working at the bench all day," said Dr. Brown, shrugging her shoulders and stretching. Kyte shot Dr. McKay a small look. He got the message and walked over to the other botanist.

"I think I can help," he said, fingers searching for knots in her shoulders and back. She purred with appreciation.

Sheppard, meanwhile, started picking up petri dishes, trying to figure out how something that resembled green oatmeal would be a root vegetable in a few months. Kyte noticed his skeptical look and commented, "Hard to believe that will be dinner."

No one noticed Dr. Kavanaugh walk into the room with chemicals and equipment. "I need some bench space to run an experiment," he mumbled to no one in particular.

"Kavanaugh, what the…" started Dr. Fitzgerald, precisely before a loud boom followed by the sound of breaking glass filled the air. Several large bottles lining the wall exploded, sending their contents and glass fragments onto most of the room's occupants.

"Kavanaugh!" chorused several voices simultaneously.

'Oh hell," swore Dr. Fitzgerald. 'Everyone ok?"

"Just wet," said Dr. McKay. He glanced over at the bottle fragments, "I'm not bleeding, am I?" his voice rose slightly.

"No, Dr. McKay, you're not bleeding," reassured Kyte. She also looked at the row of broken bottles. "Those weren't what I think they were?"

"Yes," nodded Dr. Fitzgerald, reaching for a radio. "This is Dr. Benjamin Fitzgerald in biology lab 14. I need a medical team immediately. We've had a serious chemical spill, five victims, assume worst case scenario."

"You mean," started Kate. She looked quite nervous, but was also starting to blush. Dr Fitzgerald nodded.

"Kavanaugh, if we survive, so help me, I'm going to kill you and enjoy it," swore Kyte with a glare that could bore holes in metal. Kavanaugh looked very nervous with good reason.

"Enough," interrupted Dr. Fitzgerald. "I need all of you to strip, now. This is no time for pride or being prudes. We're all adults," he added, noticing several puzzled looks, "Those bottles were containers for the waste chemicals, which Kavanaugh didn't notice. Most of their contents, like phenol, are not good for the skin or internal organs, hence the request to strip. Everything, or at least down to your underthings, until medical can assess the situation." He walked over to an adjoining lab. "We've had a major chemical spill, we need every container of water. Just set them here in the doorway. "No safety showers," he called to the group. Kyte and Kate both nodded.

"Hopefully the water's at least lukewarm. Set one of those safety showers off by accident in college. You have no idea how cold that water is or how hard it comes out," Kate spoke, trying to remove her wet shirt, without it further touching her skin, voice briefly muffled as she pulled it over her head.

"Oh yeah, they always warn you, but I wasn't sure if that was an urban legend. Guess not," added Kyte, imitating Kate's actions. "This isn't quite what I pictured for everyone getting naked, somehow I thought there'd be mass quantities of alcohol involved."

Sheppard had to admit, neither woman was hard on the eyes, of course very few women were in his book. Dr. Brown was fine-boned and delicate, almost a dancer's build, while Dr. Randall was definitely an athlete, all compact muscles, dotted with a bruise or two from sparring. Rodney had definitely been working out, while it appeared Kavanaugh did not know where the gym was. He was also the most embarrassed of the five, deciding there was an interesting spot on the floor. Rodney kept trying not to look not to at Dr. Brown, but their eyes would meet every so often, and both would blush and smile. Kyte stood motionless, like a Degas statue, apparently unashamed of a situation that required near nudity.

She caught his eye and smirked. "You think we women buy lacy underwear just for you men?" she asked gesturing. She shrugged. "Besides, I own skimpier bathing suits."

He allowed his imagination to run wild for a second, then blushed. His blush deepened when Carson and the medics from the infirmary appeared in protective gear. He didn't like the idea of being in only his boxers in the infirmary, this was a hundred times worse. He scanned the faces of the other people nearby, a mixture of fear, relief, and embarrassment danced across them.

"Right, what do we have," asked Carson in his booming brogue, trying to take in the situation, giving Kyte a concerned look. They'd only just started dating, and for a moment the man replaced the physician. She nodded to him, and he turned his attention back his team. "Dr. Fitzgerald informs me we had a spill from several chemical waste bottles, which happened to contain, among other things phenol. He's had them strip as a precaution, but we need to check for skin contact and make sure everyone gets cleaned up." Turning to the five staring expectantly at him. You will then be accompanying us to the infirmary overnight, so I monitor your exposure and check liver and kidney function. You will also be checking in for a follow-up every few days to make sure there are no complications.

"Good, because I need my kidneys and liver for other more important things," muttered Kyte. "Like Guinness."

"Complications? Like what?" asked Rodney, his voice rising in panic as two doctors approached him.

Sheppard was sure he and everyone else would prefer to forget the next few hours. Getting inspected like a show dog for chemical burns, having several tubs of ice-cold water dumped on you, then getting bundled off to the infirmary to be poked and prodded. Kyte looked like a wet cat, complete with the attitude to match, which pretty much summed up his feelings. Rodney just looked miserable, which was an improvement over his earlier panicky ramblings, but Kate managed to find some humor in the situation. "Well, Colonel your hair isn't completely impervious," she laughed at his usually spiky hair, now plastered down.

Kavanaugh had been closest to the site of the explosion, but even he would be ok, although Dr. Beckett had decided to hold him a few extra days for observation. Carson was sure that the various departments were designing a 'Clueless" award for him, and they'd certainly nominate him for a 'Darwin' award if they could.

He sat down next to Kyte, who was trying to read a paperback, and playing with the bed's blanket. He smiled at her "How are you doing?"

"Ok, considering the events of today. I'm guessing when you said we hadn't seen much of each other lately, this wasn't what you meant."

"No, but at least here I can keep an eye on you. Plus, you have the privilege of personal house calls." Kyte blushed slightly. "As for you two," he barked at Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay in beds nearby, "Can't you stay out of trouble? For Pete's sake, you weren't even off world. No vacations and no holidays weren't part of the job description."

FIN


End file.
